


The Perfect Fit

by thegrumblingirl



Series: Shards of Glass [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pretend Relationship, The Pack Ships It, This is terrible, bad decision-making, because it might actually do me in, prequel to an undercover fic that I hope my brain will never make me write, the pack meeting of doom, undercover couple, why am I doing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrumblingirl/pseuds/thegrumblingirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No,” Chris barked, pointing his index finger at Scott and Stiles. “No, absolutely not. We are not… I’m not doing this with Derek. I’m not doing this at all!”<br/>“But—!” Stiles wrung his hands, his eyes pleading. “You’re the perfect fit!”<br/>“How — how are we the perfect fit?” Derek bit out between gritted teeth, looking at each member of the pack in turn, frowning like hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perfect Fit

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this [tag ramble](http://didthedevilturnup.tumblr.com/post/82678354820/themonstering-would-pay-for-an-ep-that) that Inkie pointed out to me one day. AT WORK. But I had the good sense to take it home with me before starting to write. Basically, a drabble about the very much FUN conversation that was needed to convince Derek and Chris that it should totally be them to go undercover as a couple.

“No,” Chris barked, pointing his index finger at Scott and Stiles. “No, absolutely not. We are not… I’m not doing this with Derek. I’m not doing this at all!”

“But—!” Stiles wrung his hands, his eyes pleading. “You’re the perfect fit!”

“How — how are we the perfect fit?” Derek bit out between gritted teeth, looking at each member of the pack in turn, frowning like hell. The pack just stared back at him, their faces portraying innocent bewilderment with varying degrees of success. Peter, for instance, was just smirking like the evil uncle that he was. Lydia, on the other hand (and on the opposite end of the sofa), was looking at them with something suspiciously close to pity in her eyes — and Derek knew her well enough to realise that that very likely meant that she knew something that they didn’t, but that should have been perfectly obvious. Because, apparently, it was to everyone else in the room. She sighed.

“The area we’re looking at is a suburb that’s popular with couples who appreciate a certain… nonchalance when it comes to age gaps,” she explained, Stiles gesturing in her direction as if saying, see, listen to Lydia and her superior common sense. “And you and Mr Argent are the only two with a difference in age that is both, well. Sufficient, but not yet illegal,” Lydia tilted her head, broadcasting very loudly that she felt it necessary to remind everyone that most of the people in this room were still high school kids without saying a single word about it.

Derek and Chris exchanged an uncomfortable glance.

“I would relieve you of this burden, nephew,” Peter continued sweetly from across the room, “but I am apparently — and I can’t believe the words are coming out of my mouth — too old for Chris. He likes them fresh,” he added with a smug smile in the hunter’s direction, who narrowed his eyes in annoyance. Scott made a pained noise and jumped in before any weapons could be drawn.

“I’m really sorry about this, but if we want to find the Rugaru, we need someone to go undercover. Kira and I went through her family’s version of the Beastiary, and Rugarus insert themselves into human lives so well they can only be detected through constant observation. It’s going to be hard enough finding out which of the residents it is without the added stress of fitting into a life none of us know anything about.”

“We thought about, y’know. One of us going with you to pose as your kid,” Stiles added with an apologetic look at Chris. “But we’re not exactly undercover material, and it’s not really an area where single parents can get a foot in the door.”

“Well, who said anything about single parents?” Chris countered. “What about you and your dad? What about your dad and Melissa?” Chris knew that the budding relationship between the Sheriff and Scott’s mother was a bit of an awkward topic for the both of them, but he wasn’t going to go out of his way to avoid stepping on anybody’s toes if it meant he might get out of this.

Lydia made a frustrated sound. “I’m sorry, Mr Argent, but Mrs McCall and the Sheriff are the same age. Plus, a Sheriff? That might drive the Rugaru away before we can even get close.”

“And I think it’s high time my mom doesn't get preyed on by either wolves or Darachs or a band of Oni anymore,” Scott added, sounding equal parts disgruntled and protective.

“There, see?” Stiles nodded along. “We just wanna stop worrying about our very human parents with no supernatural training, ok, and you, well, Derek’s a sourwolf, and you might be human, but you’re a sourfaced hunter, so I don’t see the harm in letting you two figure this out.”

Chris could feel Derek tense next to him, adding a layer of apprehension to his own discomfort.

“Stiles,” Derek growled. “I hope you know that by ‘figuring this out,’ you mean finding a Rugaru while trying to pretend that we’re a couple. A _couple_ , Stiles. Chris and I, together. Seriously?” Derek’s own eyes narrowed when the pack proceeded to exchange a set of awkward looks, even Peter looking vaguely uncomfortable rather than inappropriately amused. “And now you’re all just looking guilty,” Derek continued, his tone just this side of accusing while Chris rolled his eyes at this bunch of schoolkids they had the great (mis)fortune to call a pack.

“Well...” Isaac trailed off when no-one said anything. “You know how you bicker all through a hunt, no matter who’s in the room or the car or the, say, pixie-infested forest with you?”

“We argue, so? He’s a wolf with too much responsibility at a young age, and I’m an experienced hunter,” Chris shot back. He liked Isaac, but he had no idea where this was going.

“You don’t argue,” Isaac replied, “you _bicker_. Like an old married couple. You go back and forth over dinner, you snipe at each other while passing each other the sugar for the coffee.”

“What Isaac is ineffectively trying to explain,” Lydia interrupted, “is that you two have chemistry, whether you realise it or not. So, please, channel that unresolved sexual whatever, and just pretend that you’re actually aware that you like each other for as long as you live in that house together.”

Derek and Chris spent the next minute staring at her, too stunned to say anything.

“I can actually see the cogs turning,” Peter whispered in Stiles’ ear, who swatted his shoulder while keeping his eyes on the the potential undercover couple.

Chris carefully kept his breathing and heartbeat calm, not wanting Derek - when had they started sitting this close to each other? - to pick up on his mortification. They were right, of course they were right, but Chris had always taken his cues from Derek, which were basically a neon sign reading, "We don't talk about this."

Next to him, Derek shifted (not away from him, but not closer either) uncomfortably. They both knew it would work, they did. What they didn't yet know was what it would do to them if it worked too well.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing, I get nothing.


End file.
